In my experience, when you focus on yourself instead of on boys, your career flourishes, you flourish, and you learn. That doesn’t mean you can’t date boys along the way. By all means date, date assholes, learn from them but don’t ever stay stuck and don’t ever give up anything — your career, morals, and sense of self worth over a guy. I’ve seen lots of girls including friends of mine who are “in love” and give up anything and everything for their men and as a result, their careers and sense of well being suffers. Boys will always be there but not your career or goals or dreams. There is also nothing wrong with waiting for the right person to come along. I think the latter is actually beneficial.
Your dreams can come true and you don’t need a man to be or feel fulfilled. Believe in yourselves . This world needs more female leaders and if more women believed in themselves this world would be a more balanced, peaceful, harmonious, less sexist, and a more prosperous place to live. Believe, dream, and don’t ever give up. And don’t give up anything and everything for a guy. Focus on bettering yourself first.
For me, if my man isn’t willing to sacrifice for me, I can’t give up my dreams or career for him nor at all for that matter. A man who loves and respects you would WANT you to flourish and your career to soar, and not be jealous by it or want to take you down with him. First we need to work on ourselves and only then can we have the capacity and space to love others and grow.
I’m so incredibly happy because, because of my determination and unwillingness to center my life around boys/men, I have flourished career wise thus far. I’m 27, and many of my dreams have come true but I still have a long to do list. More recently, I’ve gotten my dream job in publishing (temporarily covering for someone on maternity leave) and it’s a blessing. Thank you to whoever is watching out for and guiding me. Thank you for helping me realize my sense of self worth and allowing me to reap the fruits of my labor. Lastly, there’s more to life than sex and there’s more to life than boys. Babies can wait (abortions can wait as well) please love yourselves and respect yourselves first ladies! You are more than a sexual object and boys are also more than sexual objects.
When it comes to STD’s and STI’s women are usually the ones who pay the price, and that includes giving birth and abortions as well. Men can’t get tested for HPV but are carriers and can unknowingly spread them to women. This is more common than we realize (have a few friends that needed to be operated on due to contracting HPV while having unprotected sex with their male partners). I’m a huge advocate of condoms because I know in this world a lot of people view sex as a necessity for well being.
I want girls everywhere to realize that there is so more to them and their bodies than just sex. You have a mind, a brain, a soul, dreams, aspirations, kindness, ect. Use those attributes versus trying to get ahead with your bodies and looks alone. Our journey’s are all different and if that’s what you want and what brings you life by all means go for it, but a huge portion of girls in this world have a dream/destiny/calling. Please follow it, because lets face it this world is pretty dark. If I ever have a daughter I don’t want her to grow up in this world where the world treats her as a sex object or inferior to men.
We need to make the world more bright , we need to lighten up the world before we die…because inevitably and eventually we will all die. Before I become one with the Earth I would leave knowing that I’ve done my part to make this world more balanced, equal, more bright, and more hopeful for future generations and for my kids and future grand kids. I hope girls everywhere can rise to their full potentials and realize that they are more than their bodies, they are more than their looks– that their minds and actions matter, and that they can make a lasting impact in this world. They just need to believe in themselves and stay resilient and persistent. Women around the world I hope you rise up and realize your bodies are not your only assets. Your minds are. As judge judy states: beauty fades, dumb is forever. These are my thoughts and hopes and dreams for girls around the world <3.
Note: I need to thank my dad for making me the woman I am today. His life was filled with scandal–using women, having babies with them, abusing his position of power and making sex his priority over his family. I love my dad but I also need to acknowledge how his past mistakes affected how I grew up as a woman and how I put self love first before loving men. Thanks dad. Despite your mistakes, it turned out to be a great lesson for me after all.
All Love and blessings,
Leslie Angela Blanco